The tragedy in Tuscon once again brings the issue of gun control to the forefront. Gun owners everywhere are ramping up the paranoia about "the guv'mint takin' muh guns". Some Arizona gun shops are reporting that their sales have doubled since the rampage. It's like some moonshine-induced hallucination featuring a mash-up of Chicken Little and Full Metal Jacket. Because you know, if Jesus was alive today, he'd own a buttload of guns.There's even talk in Washington about banning guns in the presence of politicians. Leave it to congress to cover its own ass and leave ours flapping in the breeze.
Fuck that! I say let the rednecks, gang-bangers and loonies have all the guns they want, but ban the bullets, or at least exercise more control over how they're dispensed.
Following the prescription drugs model, I propose that we make bullets available only with a signed note from a doctor, who swears or affirms that he or she will surgically remove said ammo at no charge when you bust a cap in someone's ass. The doctor will assume full responsibility for any loss of life or personal injury and will pay full restitution to the victim.
In addition, raise the cost of bullets so high that you'll think twice before you use one. Chris Rock says it best:
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