Friday, July 29, 2011

Slow News Friday: Denise Richards, Spineless Rick Perry, Secret Gay Mafia in Catholic Church

So here we are on another Friday with nothing really important happening in the world. That's not to say that the debt ceiling BS has been resolved, but when all anybody can talk about is actress/reality TV star/former Mrs. Charlie Sheen, Denise Richards' confession in her new book that she once had some girl-on-girl action, you know it's a slow news day.

Richards has been making the rounds promoting her new book, "The Real Girl Next Door", including a stop at the Howard Stern Show this week, where she titillated listeners with some teasers, specifically that she has once had sex with a much more talented and much more famous actress and that she's sorry she had a boob job. The ex-Mrs. Sheen also appeared on Bravo's "Watch What Happens Live" with Andy Cohen last night, where she hinted that she's be open to becoming part of "The Real(ly boring) Housewives of Beverly Hills".

Denise, dear, here's a news flash: you don't get to call yourself an actress when you haven't acted in over ten years. I know that J.K. Rowling has finished with Harry Potter, but is the literary world really so hard up that they think your life is interesting enough to sell books? Take away the Sheen connection and you're about as complicated as dry toast.

In other uninteresting news, rumored ex-gay Texas Governor Rick Perry has been forced by the lunatic fringe to revise statements he made last week about New York's marriage equality legislation. Perry had said that although he opposes SSM, he supported New York's right as a state to do what it wants, saying it was "fine with me."

Apparently states rights aren't part of the Republican platform any more, or at least Perry is willing to abandon  his principles when they are challenged by homo-haters like Family Research Council's Tony Perkins. Perry appeared on the hate group leader's radio show yesterday and caved like the spineless twit that he is when Perkins questioned him on his lack of condemnation of New York's homo-loving legislators. CNN reports:
"I probably needed to add a few words after that 'it's fine with me,'" Perry admitted to Perkins Thursday.
And he repeated his commitment to the 10th amendment as well as his conviction that marriage should be between a man and a woman. "It's fine with me that a state is using their sovereign rights to decide an issue. Obviously gay marriage is not fine with me. My stance hasn't changed." 
"My comments reflect my recognition that marriage and most issues of the family have historically been decided by the people at the state and local level. And that is absolutely the state of law under our Constitution," Perry continued.
In other breaking news, apparently there are lots of gays in the Catholic priesthood and they're organized into some kind of evil cabal. The former Archbishop of Miami, John C. Favalora has been accused of running a secret gay mafia that has been described as "a kind of Hogwarts with palm trees", by Inquisition-style investigators calling themselves Christefidelis. Gawker reports:
Favalora, who was the most powerful Catholic official in Southern Florida from 1994 until last year, stands accused of cultivating what one group of pissed-off Catholics describes as a corrupt "homosexual superculture" in the 195 churches, schools, missions, seminaries, and universities that constitute the Miami Archdiocese. If their allegations are to be believed, for sixteen years Favalora ran his organization like the don of a lavender mob, rewarding his favorite homosexual sons and forgiving their many indiscretions—rampant sex, hedonism, embezzlement, alcoholism, and the railroading of chaste priests among them—while punishing those with the temerity to complain. Wanton hedonistic gay sex is of course unobjectionable—even encouraged!—among those not in thrall to the idea that God hates your penis. But for the 500-or-so priests and deacons charged by The Holy Father Pope Benedict XVI with ensuring the spiritual integrity of 1.3 million of God's children in Southern Florida, it's…unorthodox.
So how's your day going? It's got to be more interesting than any of this stuff, so please share by posting a comment, before I give up on the day and go back to bed.

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