Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Ted Haggard says He's "Over-Repented" for his Gay Sexcapades (video)

This is a first for me. All the holy rollers I've ever met believe that you can never be too repentant. In fact, according to my Catholic upbringing (which I repent for every day) not only can you never repent enough for your sins here on Earth, but there is a special place in the after-life where you can repent for most of eternity, called Purgatory. It's a place somewhere between Heaven and Hell where God sends you for a time out, so you  can "sit and think about what you did, Mister!" for a few millenia.

This underscores what I've always believed to be the basic difference between Catholics and Protestants (non-Catholic Christians). Protestants go to church because they actually believe all the wackiness they've been taught. Catholics go to church because they're afraid not to.

Then there's Ted Haggard. As you may recall, three years ago Teddy, an evangelical mega-church leader, was caught up in a gay sex and drug scandal involving a male prostitute and the outing cost him his church, his reputation (such as it was) and nearly his marriage. At what may have been the lowest point in his life, the defrocked super-freak was reduced to the worst form of Purgatory this side of the pearly gates, selling insurance.

Over the last few years, the now fully healed No-Homo Haggard has been trying to rebuild his life and his career. Back in June, Haggard announced that he was opening an all-inclusive, gay-friendly church and that he was no longer fighting his gay side. Now, if he would just shut up about it. Countdown, with Keith Olberman reports that Haggard just can't stop repenting to anyone who will listen. Apparently, you can be ex-gay and still be a submissive bottom.

Haggard now says in a Wall Street Journal interview that he's repented enough and would like to take some of his repenting back. This appears to be "Teddy the Former Tweaker's" latest attempt at extending his 15 minutes by repenting for his over-repenting. I'm sure we'll be seeing a lot more of this down-low hypocrite in the coming months. He has compared himself to Tiger Woods, Michael Vick and other celebrity douchebags, but he's left out one critical difference. Those guys really are straight!

There is a an old Yiddish saying that I remember from my New Jersey childhood that springs to mind in situations like this: Genug shoyn! Translation: Enough, already!

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