AARP Pride Information and Resources for Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender People, Families and Allies - AARP
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
I was at work today when the California Supreme Court announced its decision to uphold Proposition 8, which banned same-sex marriage a year ago. I kept dashing to the nearest computer in between customers for updates. It was so frustrating. Not only just knowing the outcome, but not being able to vent about it. Usually, I have my co-gay to commiserate with, but she was out today. I was in such a shitty mood all day.
I work for a large copy chain. They've changed names a few times over the years, so I'll just refer to them as "Schminko's". That way I won't get in trouble at work and besides, God only knows what the geniuses at corporate will come up with next. The only reason I mention it at all, is that wedding season has started and I have to deal with helping young couples put together their announcements, invitations, programs, seating charts and assorted other nauseating wedding necessities.
As I showed a young couple the various paper choices and font selections and worked up a price quote, what I really wanted to do was get online somewhere to find out what was going on in California. But instead, I had to stand there and smile while this happy young couple planned their big day, knowing I may never get to do it myself.
Then I had a revelation. As if struck by lightening, in a flash, I realized just how much I really hate weddings.
I hate going to them and being in them.
I hate hearing about them and looking at the wedding pictures.
I hate having to tell the bride how beautiful she looks in the dress that makes her already-fat ass look four times bigger. (Fat girls should never wear ruffles.)
I hate having to introduce my partner of nine years as "my partner" to people I haven't seen in twenty years.
I hate that gay people can plan the wedding, cater the wedding, make the dress, do the hair, nails, make-up and flowers, and that our music, "YMCA", is played at every wedding reception in the bible belt, but we can't have weddings of our own!
Yes, this advocate for same-sex marriage hates weddings. Give me an Elvis impersonator at "The Blue Hawaii Chapel O' Love" on the Vegas Strip any day. (Thanks, Nevada! You suck too!)
But what I hate more than weddings is hypocrisy. All men are created equal if you are a member of an approved group. I actually heard some right-wing nut-job on the radio on the way home calling today's decision "democracy in action". He also claimed that he's not a bigot, he's a person of faith. It's getting harder and harder to tell the difference these days.
As a duck owner, I can tell you that if it walks and swims and quacks like a duck, it's a mutha-fukkin' duck!
These guys don't know who their messing with. The queer community has survived thousands of years of church oppression. We survived Hitler's death camps, police brutality, gay-bashing and AIDS. We are here to stay. They can not pray us away or legislate us away.
In the history of this nation - and the world - no civil rights struggle has ever failed. It's taking a lot longer that we wanted it to, but we've made some incredible strides and ultimately, we will prevail.
So, no. I don't want a big fancy wedding and I wouldn't get married in a church for all the tea-bagging in the Vatican. I don't want a wedding.
I want the same legal recognition and status of my nine-year relationship that my six married siblings have.
I want to live in a country that values my rights as an individual over the petty concerns of a church I don't even belong to.
I want my country to live up to its constitution by granting me full citizenship.
I want to get married.