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| Pastor Mark "Oops! I dropped the soap" Driscoll |
“Masturbation can be a form of homosexuality because it is a sexual act that does not involve a woman. If a man were to masturbate while engaged in other forms of sexual intimacy with his wife then he would not be doing so in a homosexual way. However, any man who does so without his wife in the room is bordering on homosexuality activity, particularly if he’s watching himself in a mirror and being turned on by his own male body.” - Pastor Mark Driscoll of Seattle’s Mars Hill Church, from Porn-Again Christian: A Frank Discussion on Pornography & Masturbation for God’s Men.Sounds like the voice of self-loathing experience to me, gays and girls. Pastor Mark has just told every man on the planet that ever lived that they're all gay. Projecting much? Someone is enjoying the sight of his own male body in the mirror a little too much. Watch out for this guy at the gym, fellas.
I always thought that spanking the monkey was a way to get some relief without having to go through all the song and dance required to get the wifey in the mood and deal with all the cuddling bullshit afterwords. But what do I know? From what I've always heard, women get really annoyed when they find out how much their man likes to polish his knob, so why would a guy want her around when he's fantasizing about Sophia Vergara?
This one sounds like a really bad Jeff Foxworthy joke (okay, that's redundant): "If you're an anti-gay minister who knows way too much about male masturbation, you might just be a big old 'mo."
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