Monday, October 24, 2011

Preacher Gets it Wrong on Doomsday Prediction... AGAIN!

Crazy-ass preacher Harold Camping
Here I sit staring at the blank screen of my eight-year-old laptop wondering what the day will bring. What will the traffic be like on the way to work? Will I get my insurance license problems sorted out? Will that doomsday preacher guy, Harold Camping, explain why he was wrong about the Apocalypse again?

That's right folks, in case you weren't paying attention, Rapture 3.0 was due on Friday, the 21st. Camping, who looks suspiciously like the preacher demon from Poltergeist II, had predicted that the world would end back on May 21. When the date came and went without incident, Camping emerged from his hidey hole a few days later looking like a groundhog wondering where his shadow went and had a lot of splainin' to do.

The myopic prognosticator explained that it was simply a mathematical error and that the real date for the End Times would be October 21, 2011. To be honest, I was so busy on Friday that I didn't even notice, although traffic did seem a little lighter.

I wonder what he'll have to say this time around to the thousands of morons that were duped by his medicine show-style salvation. You remember them, don't you? The people out on the street corners last spring who sold all their worldly possessions, spent their life savings and maxed out their credit cards based on Camping's assurances that they wouldn't be around when the bills arrived? They weren't anywhere to be seen in the media this time around. That's probably because they're all occupying Wallstreet.

You see, it's the big banks' fault they're broke, not their own or their crazy-ass preacher's, because a preacher would never lie, cheat or steal from his gullible flock and after all, overspending yourself into the poorhouse is the American way.

There's an app for that.
For the record, Camping also predicted the end was nye back in 1994, but instead of the wrath of the almighty, we got eight years of Bill and Hilary Clinton.

So maybe math isn't Camping's strong suit. Or maybe he's just over-thinking it. At 90 years old, the real end times are probably his own. He just over-generalized. My advice to Father (End) Time is to check out  iTunes and download the free Rapture Predictor app. Sure, it's bullshit too, but at least it's free.

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