|Halle Berry, Sandra Bullock and Helen Mirren at the 2011 Oscars.|
The second and main reason I watched, is because I love to see what all the Hollywood glitterati are wearing. Not so much the men, because, I don't care what anybody says, a suit is a suit. They're boring and uncomfortable and nobody likes wearing them.
As with most gay men, for me it's all about what the gals are wearing. There were some really fabulous frocks last night, including co-host Ann Hathaway's seven wardrobe changes. She never disappoints.
One of my two favorite moments of the night was when Kirk Douglas deliberately went off script during his presentation and kept the audience waiting. Just when you thought he was done, he'd say "you know..." and continue talking. He did it two or three times and the audience howled with laughter. What are you going to do? The guy is like 90, he survived a major stroke and he's a living legend. He's Sparticus, for Chirst's sake!
My other favorite moment came after Douglas announced the best Supporting Actress winner, Melissa Leo. In her acceptance speech, Leo referred to Kate Winslet's win in 2009, when she said, "When I watched Kate two years ago, it looked so f---ing easy. ..."
It was just what the snooze-fest needed.
The worst moment of the night came when I read the credits at the end of the broadcast and saw that Bruce Vilanch was on the list of writers. Bruce, what happened? You used to be the "go to" guy for funny awards shows. There were four or five other writers credited, so I prefer to think that they over-powered you, tied you up in the back room and kept your stuff from getting on air. That's the only possible explanation.
Another huge disappointment this year was the absence of Joan Rivers on E!'s red carpet coverage. Joan is single-handedly responsible for bringing back glamor to the awards show circuit. Why E! hasn't had her on any of their pre-award shows this year is a mystery to me. Women in Hollywood live in constant fear of Joan's acid tongue and rightly so.
Even though E! has brought Joan back to the Fashion Police this year, they inexplicably sent second stringers Kelly Osborn and the lollipop-headed Giuliana Rancic. Kelly looked spectacular, Giuliana looked like she had borrowed the drapes from "Gone With the Wind".
As for this year's much ballyhooed co-hosts, Ann Hathaway gave her best "hey, gang, let's put on a show" enthusiasm, but James Franco looked like he'd been doing bong-hits in the limo on the way over. He added nothing to the show and left it up to the plucky Hathaway to carry the show, which she did admirably.
The big winners for the night were Natalie Portman, Best Actress for "Black Swan", Colin Firth, Best Actor, for "The King's Speech", which took the trophy for Best Picture. In addition to Melissa Leo's Best Supporting Actress award for "The Fighter", Christian Bale took home Best Supporting Actor for his role in the same film.
A lot of my gay friends hate anything to do with awards ceremonies, but let's face it, The Oscars are the Gay Super Bowl. It's "Must See TV". I've been watching them since I was a little kid and even though I don't go to the movies as often as I used to, I will continue to watch them every year. So there.